is this what you came for?

Climb into the ring for a battle that you can't win
Swing as hard as you can swing, it will still mean nothing
Should’ve seen it coming
It had to happen sometime
But you went and brought a knife
To an all out gun fight

plain and simple

I know you been hurt by someone else... not me thats not who I am now. I've loved I've lost I've learned...I transformed into who i am now, I don't live my life according to who I was. The person I am now is who I want to be who I want to stay. In life for some it takes awhile to find yourself for others it may take a significant event. For me I followed life as it rolled in front of me I created my own happiness and been strong in times of weakness. I pulled myself out of rough times and so far with every door that has slammed in my face a positive one has opened. We are given signs in life, some of them come out of nowhere. My signs tell me I am right where I'm suppose to be. I'm grateful to be given motivation to fight against negative energy people may shed. I'm grateful to be able to listen to myself to be comfortable with who I am and where I am heading. A long time ago when I was down I promised myself, My life wouldn't end up putting me down on the ground over and over again. I can say this much... I have been put on the ground over and over again But each time I have picked myself up no one else has done it for me. You can go to people for advice and others can make you feel better and definitely give you a push but at the end of the day looking back... It was me who picked myself up and I owe myself this much to say. I love who I am. I know what I want and what Im looking for. So heres a new promise I make to myself...at the end of the day I can count on having who I am.

FACT

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we hadn’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.mm

Nonsensical Fairy tale

Sometimes It's soothing to think of the impossible, like bringing someone back to life. To slip away to the unknown drift off into another world where magic can solve everything, where true love works out ALWAYS. and where everyone has someone. to just run in a figure eight out of this world and into another. love is a dream that keeps waking me, maybe for now don't say a word just come lay with me. Silent Screams and steady breathing makes me think if you'll ever call my name again. In another world neither here nor there you'll call my name, to drift away where everything is intertwined with understanding and good intentions. Where all it is, is a bump in the road. The carriage wheel stays on but becomes loose. It holds on as the journey continues, because in fairy tales there is no giving up.

one day at a time

Day 1
Today you didn't look good tee, You started your treatment and was kinda out of it, you heard music in the walls. Songs that you and pottee used to dance too. You were emotional. We were with you for all the hours you had your treatment. It was hard to explain to you what was going on you were confused. But at least you knew you were out of it, you said you felt drunk but you liked pinot grigio. you were cracking jokes. your second dose went in faster this time. mommy and aunt marie left I stayed we were doing crossword puzzles i read the questions you answered and I wrote them in. All of a sudden you started to shake and kept saying you were getting cold. I felt your head and you were burning up I wrapped you in blankets around your shoulders over you and around your head. You kept asking why you were so cold all of a sudden, I tried to explain. Then you told me this was it and that you were leaving. I grabbed you and told you "NO! your not going anywhere, You stay right here with me" you calmed down, You scared me tee. I told the nurse and she stopped the treatment. You needed more steroids to control your side-effects and off you went again hallucinating and hearing music in the walls. after the steroids the treatment started up again. You tolerated the rest well and on we went with the crossword puzzles. I said goodbye and see you tomorrow

Day 2
I came before work to see how you were, You were hearing your music still and saying there was someone in the bed next to you who wanted to scratch your eyes out. No one was there tee. You ate lunch I had to help you but I still made you try to feed yourself. I said goodbye and see you tomorrow.
Day 3
I didn't have to go to work today, we came to visit you. You looked really good today, You admitted that the steroid was making you hallucinate and you knew there was no music. It was easier to have a conversation today you were making sense. You wanted to walk around. You looked so much better. hope you sleep well tonight. I said goodbye and see you tuesday
stay strong.

Put em up

Now is the time to fight! I won't fall apart. A heartbreak drive by looking right in the face of a goodbye. We're not gonna fall now we're not gonna bleed out. Never gonna break down. Not now... fight with everything you've got left, Ill be here waiting here right by your side being strong for you. Your not going anywhere, You stay right here. I will Look pain right in the eyes and tell it to try and bring someone else down because it won't be you. It's not easy to let go and its not easy to hold on but NO ANGEL IS TAKING YOU TONIGHT.

Mariah wins!

live and let live

It's easier to go down a hill than up it but the view is much better at the top.
The work put into getting to the top is worth the view.

I have fight in me

It's like a feeling of crawling out of my skin it's like everything was taken away... ... it's not over because this time around I vowed to myself it would be done right. It was a rough start but I fixed everything, found myself. I was strong and what we have now means everything to me so I won't give up that easily. Ill fight for what I believe is to be right, like this? us? it's right. I don't want shadows to move in because we can see beyond the stars and make it to the dawn. Together we changed the colors of the sky so what about now? and what about today? you made me all I was meant to be. What we build up to be, what we made to be so strong. can we keep this? I want those normal steps in life with you I want to continue to give you all of me please take what I have to offer, working through things will make us stronger. You walked into my life and i learned that you were something different and something told me to stay right where i was, right where I am. This you may know... But i love you, all of you.