I was out of addictions

I was sick of restrictions, sick of the boundaries ... about to close the door. What should i settle for ?
Now i don't know what to do with myself.


now i know for sure there is no cure.

Who's going home with you tonight?
why can't i hold onto you.


is this how we say goodbye?

TEXT

(404) He asked if i wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind because he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts.

...THAT THOUGHTFUL

I'm falling even more...
in love with you
I'm letting go of all I held on to

If sleep had a personality it would be a bitch

Peaceful dream, horrific nightmare, haunting memories,
Leave me be, i just wanna fall
i just wanna fall asleep and stay asleep with no memories
Daytime wide awake you keep me sane and smiling
but come the dark and eyelids shut leaving me with uncertainty and
sometimes wondering if Nightmares are signs and try to speak aloud to me

Blind to me, don't look my way cause ill be blind to you

"Thought things were civil...." Next time when you try and tell me the truth, DON'T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE. Everything has a way of getting back to me. Lucky for me I'm already home.
You didn't think. and I know your listening now. I Don't care what you think.

~19~

I'm used to saying no, I'm used to walking the opposite way, but I finally did something different I took a jump with some hesitation and uncertainty but its about time love caught me off guard. I never thought id be able to do it....

Here we go again... hold your breathe... and start over

love won't pay the bills

"She said lifes alot to think about sometimes especially when your living in between the lines." The future i set for my self and the life path i am on right now is anything but ordinary anything but consistent and calm. Right now what i have set is to do nothing but live in between the lines. They say the road is rigorous and demanding but I want it bad no matter what. I want the chaos the rush and i want to FEEL every emotion of it. Right now there is alot to be thankful for. Especially for how my life made a turnaround and i can finally focus on myself and feel worthy, finally noone to put me down and tell me what im lacking or what I'm not doing right or enough of. The only person to criticize what i do is myself. I should be my own worst enemy and i should be the pain in the ass that pushes myself through tough times... and finally I am. I remember a couple years ago having a completely different plan for myself involving different people and all sorts of big ideas. But everything happens for a reason and I'm beginning to see why it played out the way it did and for that im more then grateful. :)

These are the wonders of my world

It's been a long time since i walked down to the shore, where i was alone and at peace, where i had my chance to just speak and not know if anyone was listening. the foot steps and black sandals saved my life, they made me walk away. It's nice to know that at least i have brains down there. At least my feet are thinking in the right direction. Ever since the walk i took i wake up happy every morning. It's like nothing can harm me. life is stressful workload gets heavy but i still smile when i wake up in the morning. It is something i used to never be able to do. I was never able to wake up on summer mornings and be thankful or just be happy. The black sandals that walked to the shore saved my life and showed me what happiness is. showed me what caring meant showed me what people in my life are capable of and how strangers can surprise you and what starting over means. I know some more rough patches are heading my way but I'm living in the moment and it feels good to smile again. feels good to realize again what i want most in life. i feel good again after hard work. I feel good again when making a difference. I feel like i am back in my own skin again.

RIP for those who lost their lives in 9/11
you will always be in our heats <3

you were blind to me now im blind to you

Never to return, never to look back. Your a stranger, i need to let go of the things that made me fall. Do me a favor and don't even look my way. This is the best i have ever been since you been gone and from here it can only get better because i won't let you come back. You think I don't know but i have every right idea telling me your not what i want anymore, your not what i expected, Your not who you used to be and im not the person i once was either. It's easier now for me to say no and for me to say goodbye. Don't think there will always be a place for you here because you didn't think to care about me.


DEUCES!

This sums it up !